All A Twitter

OK, so it isn’t the most original title for a blog entry, but you know what, originality on the small details isn’t always the most important. People like to recognise things and through that recognition you can drag them into the extreme corners of your mind.

But that’s a bit of a tangent from what today’s entry is all about.

Today I had a mad few minutes where I was thinking up and writing stories on twitter. Stories that only lasted one tweet. And in case you missed them there, I’m reposting them here.


He had promised her anything. She asked for his heart. “Should’ve considered I meant literally.” She told the cooling corpse


5 clicks. The revolver was passed to him as the crowd howled. The winning streak was always going to end someday.


Stars wheeled about him and the ship was gone. Alone in the vacuum, there was nothing to do but count down his remaining air


They were burning bodies at the end of the road again today. Such a waste, we need a better chef.


Through the murky liquid and glass of the jar, Denzel stared into his own empty eye sockets.


Then finally I’m posting a twitter story I wrote months ago.  The posts were spread out over a few hours, but now you can get the whole thing at once.

Twitter Road

There’s a crack in the road in front of the house. Seems bigger today than yesterday.

Is everyone else getting these summertime temperatures or is it just us?

Well that’s what too much coffee does for you. I’d swear someone just laughed at me from the other side of the window.

Freaking myself out now. Something tapped on the window, I’m sure of it. But there’s no branches near. Must be a prankster sparrow.

Going to walk the dog in a bit. Will investigate crack, laughing and sparrows while I’m at it. Back in a bit

OK, I’m back. I swear it’s only our close that’s this hot. The airfield where I walk the dog is still winter cold.

Plus, I’m sure the crack got longer while I was out. And there’s a guy standing by the lamppost at the end of the road, he looked weird.

Now I think about it, he looked weird because he had no eyebrows. He was just leaning there, like he was waiting for someone.

What else? No laughter over the airfield, but maybe a chuckle when I got back?

One last thing, there was a cat hiding in a bush on number 4’s front garden. Damn thing looked terrified, wonder if the birds have united?

OK, my Chronic Fatigue is kicking in, going to have a lie down. One last check out of the window for you all.

I must be really tired. It looks like there’s one sparrow on the roof of every house in the close. Can’t be right. A nap, that’s what is
…needed right now. See you goons in a while.

Just woken up and found there’s no-one in the house. Cup of coffee I think, why is there no-one to make it for me? Slackers!

Have coffee, but it’s really hot here. You’d think it was July not January.

I’m looking out of my window and everyone else from the close seems to be crowded around the crack. Sounds like they’re all laughing.

The crack is a lot longer now. Runs the entire length of the close. I think it’s steaming

Everyone is definitely laughing. Crack definitely steaming. It smells like used matches. Must be toxic.

Phones aren’t working properly, all I’m getting is static. Can you email the emergency services?

My eyebrows are falling off.

Had to shut the window, so hot out there. Like a wall of heat, how is no-one down there worried? All just laughing, a lot.

Crack definitely steaming. Looks like a thousand boiling kettles under the road. Phones not right, I’m not going out there.

Is it getting brighter or is it just me? Shouldn’t it be dark outside except for the street lights? Which apparently aren’t working!




All works (c) Robert Spalding 2011

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